Well, owners and marketers of new mid-market Serif condos have found a new solution for the small size of their studios: optional extra furniture that includes mechanical beds that raise and stow from the ceiling.
Welcome to Apartment Sadness, the occasional SFist series that took a long pandemic hiatus because, well, there was more to be sad about besides the lack of affordability/livability of SF apartments. And suddenly, at least for a minute there, it was much easier to find an apartment!
Things may not be fully back to pre-COVID normal, but market-priced homes in SF remain extremely expensive for many of us, and rents are back to about where they were at early 2020 before the big uproar, and perhaps very brief and massive exodus from the city.
Today, because it’s so appropriate, we’re bringing you not one rental property, but a condo — a whole bunch of condos, in fact. These are the smallest of the units in the new Serif complex at 960 Market, between Mason and Taylor (fifth and sixth). The iron-shaped building has been under construction for several years now — SFist first reported on plans in 2014 — and the finished 12-story, 408,000-square-foot project includes a 236-room hotel and a 242 unit condo. portion. The building’s opening was delayed last year, and it appears the opening of the hotel, The Line, still hasn’t happened.
According to a marketing video posted to Serif’s Facebook in February, the building contracted with Bumblebee Spaces to provide ceiling-hung furniture options in the building’s design studio. Bumblebee seems to be the modern answer to Murphy beds, which have long been a space-saving solution for small urban apartments.
Remember these are studios that start around $540,000 and go up from there.
The SF Standard has since covered the drop-down bed situation, noting that the Serif touts it as a way to turn a studio living space into a “multifunctional flexible space” – as opposed to an apartment where your bed spits out. away from the kitchen and there is barely room for other furniture. Additionally, they note that the Bumblebee Beds will cost buyers an additional $12,000 as an add-on, although in February it appeared there were “credits” available to buyers, as a perk.
Above, you can see an actress portraying a would-be Serif shopper, getting up in the morning in her multifunctional flexible space, staring at the winch technology above her that will lift her bed at the tap of an app.
Below, she gazes at her Murphy bed on cables as it winds its way up to her day home, remembering her mortgage is $3,200 a month for it, and she should have stayed in Arizona like her dad said so and that she would live in a three-bedroom house for that price.
And yay! There’s room to do mock yoga now! No need to worry about the San Francisco condo market collapsing!
In addition to the overhead Murphy bed, Serif and Bumblebee offer pull-down desks on cords, in case you’re crazy or lazy enough to want to work from home in a 340-square-foot apartment.
And, also, there are hidden storage boxes to go with the beds – a place to hide your jewelry and condoms and such, which fall next to the bed.
Below are the three studio setups available to the Serif. And they are pretty tight! They range in size from 337 square feet to 360 square feet, according to these listings. And you’ll need those drop-down boxes to store your stuff when all you get is a tiny closet — and no pantry space.
That’s the reality we live in, I guess, if you want to own property for less than $600,000 in San Francisco. You won’t get a functional kitchen or entertainment area to speak of, but maybe if you have a bed that disappears from the ceiling, you can squeeze more than one other person in for cocktails.
At least the bathrooms are quite nice!
All previous editions of Apartment Sadness on SFist.