A strong, independent woman needs the man to drop the toilet seat or she will literally fall in

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HENDERSON, NV – Tough, independent Maggie Stallings told her husband again today that he absolutely had to leave the toilet seat down or she would fall into the dresser.

“I need a man to do this for me or I will literally die,” Ms Stallings said, staring at the raised toilet lid. “It’s such a heavy lid and I just can’t trust myself whether it’s up or down. One wrong move, and I’m finished!”

Despite being an otherwise very capable and intelligent woman, the toilet seat remained Mrs. Stallings’ kryptonite. “I can speak three languages ​​and build my own furniture, but you put me in front of a toilet and I have no idea,” Ms Stallings said. “Not only do I not know what to do, but I am overwhelmed by the fear of death that accompanies every trip to the toilet. It is a disconcerting experience.”

Mr Stallings reportedly made a genuine effort to lower the toilet seat, but admits he sometimes forgets. “I really try. But the one time I forget, she comes at me like I tried to get her killed,” Mr Stallings said. “It’s an honest mistake, and a toilet seat seems like something she would be able to handle. But she’s adamant a man needs to take care of this one for her.”

At the time of publication, Mr Stallings was spotted measuring the diameter of a toilet in a vain attempt to convince his wife that using the toilet is not life-threatening.


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